Too Overwhelmed

I've been neglecting you. I apologize. When will I learn to stop reading the news? I rarely watch it on t.v. anymore because I can't stand the smug look on the reporter's faces or the way the anchor can transition from a terrible story reeking of tragedy, mayhem and death and move on, in a fraction of a second, to a happy, whee, story with a big fat shit eating grin on their face. Goddamn! I'm still trying to soak in the horrible story and come to grips with the shit they just threw at all of us and there they are, laughing at some cute little puppy story.

I like puppies. Of course I like puppies and I usually embrace stories of puppies but fucking hell! You can't mood swing from dark to light without missing a beat. Take a fucking commercial break for Christ's sake!

So you see why I don't watch the news much anymore. But every once in awhile I'm foolish enough to read it. Damn those catchy headlines! Sometimes I come across an editorial and the writer will have a comments section and I don't know why I insist on doing this to myself but I will read those comments and the more I read, the more I wish I hadn't.

Is it just me or are people becoming more and more angry and bitter with each passing year? Even friendren seem to be this way. This has been building for at least 15 or so years; or at least when I started to notice it, and it feels like something is on the verge of exploding. A collective human temper tantrum feels just on the horizon.

Everyone is mad. Less and less seem to care about their fellow man and more about what they can get and who they can stomp on to get it, or blame to get it. I don't remember shit being like this when I was younger. Granted youth brings blissful ignorance but I was always aware, (and trust me much on this one), that there were very evil people in this world from a disgustingly young age, but overall, people were generally good.

The internet has opened a door to inside people's true feelings as they hide behind their screens and keyboards and my God there are a lot of resentful, unhappy assholes out there and it seems the rage grows stronger and louder every year.

Why are we all so pissed off about? I get upset when people are rude, condascending, patronizing, selfish or phony. Seems there are far too many people who fit this bill.

Are we starting to see the results of our nanny states and bullshit coddling of friendren; "don't give them grades, it hurts their self esteem", "everyone gets picked for the team, don't want to hurt anyone's self esteem", "it's not ill manners and brattiness, it's ADHD, give that friend some drugs and an excuse to continue acting like a prat", "spanking and discipline are bad things...they're..they're...ABUSE! Give them time outs or even better, let them act like little shits and give them no structure or responsibilities at all and tell the whole world what darlings they are"? Is this the start of it all, these spoiled friendren now becoming adults?

Is what someone told me years ago true, that most people are stupid, lazy and rude? Shall we continue to blame public schools for the facts that so many grow up without being taught compassion, empathy and proper manners? Should we continue to insist the courts resolve every fucking matter between us and another party? Are we all so fucking weak that we simply cannot take personal responsibility for our own actions? Is it really surprising to us that if we act like dicks, we get the same treatement back? We act shocked when such things happen. Well no shit Sherlock, if you are rude to someone, repeatedly, over and over, guess the fuck what kind of response you're going to get.

Do we all sit around thinking the world owes us something? How long will we blame others for what is going on in this world? How many times will we blame elected officials for our shitty lives? Do we not have a voice to vote them out? Or maybe we can just keep sitting on our pathetic asses and blubbering like sour mouthed tools and not actually take action towards making things better for ourselves.

Maybe we can keep spinning the facts to serve our purposes better. Maybe we can keep making excuses for why this and why that without ever taking blame upon ourselves for the situations we get ourselves into. If you live like kings and then find yourselves drowning in debt, it's not the credit card companies faults. If we drive like maniacs down the street and get into a wreck, it's not all other driver's faults. If we fail an exam in school, it's not the instructor's fault. If we treat people like shit and they walk away, it's not their fault you are alone. If we can't respect our husbands, wives, girlfriends or boyfriends, it's not their fault the relationship is strained. If we can't get our own shit together in our own backyard, it's not our place to go about preaching to others how to live their lives. If we stuff food down our faces, it's not fast food industries fault we become fat asses. If we smoke cigarettes and become addicted, it's not the tobacco industries fault.

Blame, blame, blame. We are so fucking good at blaming everyone for everything. All that wasted energy.

Are people really so blind to this simple answer? Are people so stupid that they can't understand that repeating a process will not get them different results?

We are so desensitized anymore, so numb to the truth anymore, so...so ostrich like, with our heads in the sand.

What is it about people that they can't even show a shred of common courtesy towards others? Am I truly the only person who thinks of my neighbors or housemates and try to make as little noise as possible? Am I truly one of the few who will still stop and help someone carry something if I see them struggling? I've had people watch me struggle, tell me they are standing there watching me struggle to see how I will manage....on more than one occasion.

Were we not taught how to hold a door open for others? Were we not taught to close doors quietly and not slam them? Were we not taught to wipe our feet before we came into the house?

Why do so many refuse to make eye contact when walking down the sidewalk? What are they afraid of? Me? Afraid of me? What the fuck am I going to do? Smile and nod, that's what. Oooh! Call the police! It's like we are ashamed to be courteous. We don't know how to be courteous. We are too lazy to be courteous.

This country has been filling with rage and something's got to give. Will we each make the effort to make those changes or will we sit back and demand that everyone else do it?

Do we only know how to be mad or happy? Will we have lost the ability to be quiet, reflective, thoughtful or passionate and act like the anchor on t.v. swinging from one mood to the other, like an hysterical pendulum that has lost control?

We're losing control of ourselves and it's sickening to watch. Or maybe I'm just the dumb ass who ever had faith in human beings at all.