Being as it is Memorial Day, (have you all remembered this while scarfing down the bbq ribs and potato salad?), I will refrain from pissing and whining about my life for one day. Thanks to those who have fought for this country, I am able to bitterly complain tomorrow.
Let us not forget why our soldiers fight for our freedoms.
We could be living in Egypt where participating in a protest by carrying a sign that says, "I want my rights back", lands you in jail after a few hours of beatings and insults.
You're very fucking welcome Afghanistan. I guess life was better under the Taliban?
I will never get to go through life declaring that I've been threatened by a douche bag named Bung. But Charles can. Of course it's all the Jooooooos fault. Of course. Let's see how Al-Reuters spins this one.
Most importantly today, we must remember these people:
As well as all those who came before them and died so that we could sit around today and every other day and bitch about this administration and that and make up ridiculous conspiracy theories and complain and carry on about the most trivial bullshit we encounter every day.
It is because of these people that we are free to do so and will continue to be free to do so. Don't ever take your freedom for granted. EVER!
I'm Already Here
Finally. FINE! ELLEE! I have once again earned actual vacation. Vacation...the time where you enjoy and relish the very idea that you are NOT at work while your co-workers are! HAHAHA! Vacation....the time that you get paid to have fun and/or sit on your ass at home if you so desire.
Yes, I'm officially on vacation. I will be on vacation for five glorious days because I am clever. I am smart and have actually managed to schedule several of these 4-5 day vacations through the rest of the year.
I have two days off during the week because working the weekends if fucking ridiculously easy and I can't believe more people don't want to do it. But that's okay, we won't say shit to them about how wonderful it is. We'll continue to tell them how horrid it is, "Oh yah, working the weekend while everyone else is off and out and about doing their thing...man it totally sucks!"
But you and I both know that having weekdays off is better because that means there are LESS morons in your way when you want to go do things because they are all stuck at work. You are out enjoying yourself, in the bright sunshine, getting things done in a prompt fashion because they are tucked safely away inside some cube, where they can't annoy the living hell out of you by being their typical stupid selves. So ssshhhh don't say anything.
So, my point....I have two days off during the week and whenever there is a holiday that falls on a Monday or a Friday, all I have to do is take ONE vacation day out of my allottment and I get four days off. Heehee! This time around we are not open on Sunday either so yay! An extra day for me!
And what the hell is with everyone getting all up in your business about your vacation time?
"Where ya going? Whatcha gonna do? You going to see family?"
My answer: "If I wanted you to know that, I would have invited you along. Did I? NO? Then cease with the interrogation. You are a co-worker at https://www.chaturbaterooms.com/. You are not my friend. Capice? None of your fucking business what I do when I'm not around you. The only reason I even talk to your sorry ass is because I have to if I want to get ahead in that shit hole rat race we call a job. If I could get away with telling you what I really think of you or completely ignoring your ignorant ass altogether, I would do so. (It's one of the biggest reasons I wish I could telecommute...I can't stand you! You make me feel physically fucking ill with all your gossping and back stabbing and being snotty bitches.)"
And what I actually say out loud: "Oh, I have some things planned."
Frankly, I don't really have to do much because where I live IS already being on vacation. Der! I can take a 3 minute walk and be on the beach with all the tourists who paid thousands of dollars to do the same thing. I can hop in my car and drive one hour north, south or west and see all kinds of things that others pay tank loads to enjoy. So I could decide to sit at home and do absolutely nothing and I would still be in vacation land. That simply does not change.
Plus? I hate people. Why the hell would I want to get on a plane and fly somewhere or go to all the touristy hot spots, (aside from the one three minutes' walking distance away) and be surrounded by annoying tourists plus the regulars? I am on vacation. Since I already live in vacation land, that means that the only thing I really need to do is take a mental vacation. All those other things I can do on my weekdays off when all your sorry asses are at work. I can get through the amusement park much faster. I wont have to stand in line as long for the boat ride to look at gators. I won't have to deal with all the idiotic traffic to and from the Keys. Actual vacation time though means staying the hell away form all of you.
That means, as far as you're concerned, I'm out of town. Don't fucking call me, don't write me, don't email me, don't even dare think about me! How DARE you! (Not you, readers....you can write me. Everyone else needs to bugger off.)
So for five days I'm taking a mental vacation. I will do whatever the hell I want. I will get up whenever I want. I will go wherever I want. I will sit in my pajamas all damn day one or two maybe three days if I want. I'm on vacation. I answer to NO ONE! I will eat a double cheese burger as sloppily as I can, spilling sauce laden lettuce pieces down the front of my shirt, pick those off my shirt and pop them in to my mouth where they belong, use my sleeve as a napkin, slurp my pop through the straw, cram the fries in to my mouth until I get the hiccups, guzzle three beers, smoke 10 cigarettes and belch as loudly as I want to because I'M ON MY VACATION and there is only one rule.
"The first rule of vacation is that there are no rules."
If I want to waste an entire day by sleeping till noon followed by 4 naps, I will do so.
If I want to go out every night and drink myself retarded, I will do so.
If I decide to drive around the city just to see what's going on, I will do so. (But I won't because gas is too fucking expensive these days.)
If I want to exist off Oreo cookies and milk alone for the next 5 days, I will do so.
If I want to lay in bed the entire five days watching movies from www.jasminlive.mobi or Netflix and eating potato chips, getting crumbs in the sheets that the cats will clean up later, I will do so.
There will be no thoughts of work, there will be no cleaning, there will be no rushing, there will be no worrying and there will be no irritating people to contend with.
(Except the neighbor who refuses to take off her!!! high heeled shoes on her hard wood floor so that all I hear is "clomp, clomp, clek, clek, clomp". But even she has to leave to go to work so ha ha!)
And when I emerge on the other side of my vacation, I will be refreshed, rested, energized and ready to take on all these twits for another two months. (Yes! You see, my next vacation is over my birthday week. Big celebrations and a hell of a lot more making a complete sow of myself. I can't think of a better way to enjoy it.)
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get started on enjoying the hell out of myself. And I'll probably have a few more entries in over this next five days because this site has become fun to do again now that I no longer give two whits what anyone thinks.
Sign Me, Jane Doe
Well, can't promise you'll want more of my lasting impression. Unless you enjoy sobbing like a friend.
Oh forget it. Here is some advice I wrote some months back that was quite well received, (although not by all....guess which ones those were). It pretty much sums up the ads out there and why, after reading them, I recoil in horror at the very idea of dating and dive further in to reclusiveness.
If your sister or mother was looking to date, would YOU hook them up with some of the men who post on these sites?
Let's get some things straight.
Neither amusing nor taken seriously. And frankly, I have yet to see an attractive penis on here. In fact, the more those are posted, the more I realize why some women choose to go out with other women.
Grammar and Spelling:
"It's just a personal ad! Get a life, grammar cop!" Yah. Keep up that fantastic attitude. If your grammar or spelling sucks, your posting isn't going to get the hits you desire. If English is not your first language, you have a small bit of leeway but if English IS your first language and you still can't speak or write it correctly, massive points off. No self respecting female wants to hang around some idiot who can't construct a proper sentence. That "holla back" garbage? I'm sure you can find your next date by trolling the nearest ghetto.
"I Am Attractive/Sexy/Good Looking":
We'll be the judge of that. Attractiveness and sexiness go far deeper than your exterior shell. Just because you work out at the gym six nights a week or were born with aesthetically pleasing looks does not mean you are attractive, sexy or good looking. A "good looking" man with a sour attitude or negative disposition can very quickly be filed in to the "extremely unattractive" folder.
"I am seeking a pretty, fit, attractive, sexy female who can wear a dress and jeans":
I don't think anyone ever thought you might be looking for an ugly girl. I'm also pretty sure just about any jasminelive girl can wear a dress and jeans. That's like a female asking for a guy who can go with or without a baseball cap.
"(she) must be down to earth, goal oriented and knows what life is all about":
We have girls who defy the laws of gravity? Where are these floating women? Seriously, everyone thinks they are down to earth. Goal oriented...what, are we applying for a job here? Every person has goals. Do they need to match your goals or can they be any goal? Finally, do you even know what life is all about? People have been asking the meaning of life for years and with the exception of the answer "42", no one has quite found it yet. So before you start demanding a girl has all the answers, maybe you could find some better descriptions and stop relying on the same, tired cliches.
Posting photos of yourself next to your car/boat/jet ski/house:
Big whoop. You claim you want a "down to earth" "real" woman who is "NOT a gold digger" and then proceed to post a photo of yourself next to some high ticket item. Give me a break.
It makes you look desperate. Instead of reposting with the same photos but an angry paragraph at the beginning due to the lack of responses, take a look at your ad and see where you could make some changes. Show some creativity or humor for a change. For every 100 posts on here, there are one or two that are fabulously written, show the writer's personality and often sense of humor. Those are the kinds of ads that will be posted only once because the person gets a lot of responses.
If you don't want to put any effort in to your ad, why on earth should a female respond to it? If you claim you have a great sense of humor, show us. We get it that guys like to boat, bike, swim, fly, run, lift weights, rock climb, surf, hang glide, sky dive, fish, hike, etc. We GET it! Show us something about you that makes you different. You tell us you are unique, funny, intelligent, etc but you fail to show us how.
Don't complain that there are no "real" women in your city. There are plenty of "real" women here. Not all of us are gold diggers and sluts. If you state that you want a "real" woman, it's time to start showing us you want a "real" woman.
For the others: Some of your postings are so blatantly obvious that you are just making a fake ad to see who will respond. You're not clever, you're not funny and you are not fooling anyone. Women are not lab rats for your stupid little experiments.
It's guaranteed that someone out there will get upset with this posting and write in stating that I'm high maintenance, picky, a bitch...let's see....I'll probably get, "I'll bet your fat and single", ("your" spelled incorrectly on purpose since those types of people usually can't spell), or any other variety of insults spoken by little boys in reference to women who are strong and value themselves. So let me save you the trouble of pounding away furiously at your keyboards by stating: You're absolutely right. If you consider high maintenance, picky and a bitch to mean that I will NOT settle for someone who wants everything but will not give of themselves, you are 100% correct. And please, get over it, that statement has nothing to do with money. It has everything to do with character.
Surely this city has "real" men who are not obsessed with their dicks, eating pussy, hooking up with 2 or 3 women at a time or Photoshopped, air brushed, push up bra wearing women. Surely some of you guys have more to offer than that. Would be nice if you would tell/show us who you are instead of telling us what you have, what school you went to, where you've been or what you want.
Granted this post was mostly focused on ads but I've discovered that I kind of like ads. I get a real good idea of the person without ever having to go through the trauma of actually wasting precious time with them to find out all of this. And no, I'm not guy bashing. I'm just bashing on the stupid ones. Unfortunately, there just so happen to be a lot of them.
Are You Enjoying Your Trip?
I have no tact. I am very aware of this. I am a very direct person and frankly, very blunt. I do not know how to be any other way. I've really worked hard on this whole tact thing and all it does is cause me more grief. So, I'm just going to remain my direct, blunt self and to kick that off, I'm going to stop trying to tactfully say something I've been trying to say for some time:
If I want your advice, I'll ask for it. Until then, keep it to yourself. What I write here is but a small, tiny, miniscule portion of my life, the issue at hand or the event. You do not know what I'm thinking, have thought, have done or will do.
I do not need your advice. You are not my parent. I do not need your parental guidance. Either enjoy the writing or don't but stop giving me advice on "how to live".
Oh, I'm being bitchy? Don't care. Stop giving me your unsolicited advice.
Halloween Scary Story Part Three
Alright, this is my final segment, or whatever, in my Halloween Scary Story blog posts and this one is the grand finale because, well, damnit, the woman was just plain freaky.
Some years back, I had gone to visit one of my best friends, the same friend I said I could play the board with and know she isn't moving it, and to stay for a few days. This friend and I have known each other for many years and have been through a lot together. I've also found one of the very few people on earth who will visit cemeteries with me.
I do not get squeamish or scared at cemeteries. I find them to be amazingly peaceful, quiet, calm, well groomed and I like looking at headstones and thinking about the people who once lived. I wonder what their life was like. I wonder how they died. I wonder if they were happy. I wonder if they had pets and hobbies and dreams. I can spend hours upon hours in a cemetery because it is really one of the only places I can find that is quiet.
So, there I am, with my friend in the small town she spent the last half of her youth in and we decide to go out and do something. Since neither one of us was inclined to go to some neighborhood bar and drink, we opted to hop in the car I had borrowed and drive by cemeteries.
No it's not weird. Again, I'm skeptical and while I believe there are spirits and ghosts, I do not believe that they are going to rise out of their graves and come after me like zombies or try to run me out or whatever. That's crap.
Well. I used to think that.
Halloween Scary Story Part Two
Seems almost everyone has a ghost story to tell and while I may believe there are ghosts and spirits, I do not believe 90% of the ghost stories out there. I guess you could call me a skeptical believer. Now, I've had things happen to me, as I told you about with the shaking beds, for example, and I have more I will be telling you about, nonetheless, I will always try to find some logical explanation for every incident I go through or someone else goes through.
If something could be coincidence, I will tell myself that is all it is. If something could be the wind, or what they call a waking dream or even the fact that perhaps the person was really sleeping but thought they were awake, I will tell myself that is all those are as well. I want hard evidence. I want undeniable proof.
Even with wanting all of that, there are still some things I have witnessed that I don't know how to explain away. The things I am talking about today are simple, little incidents that don't really have big, elaborate stories behind them; they are just things that have happened.
When people tell ghost stories, most of the time it seems that the events take place at night time. However, a lot of mine have taken place during the daytime. Also, I'm not necessarily suggesting these are ghost stories, I'm merely stating they are weird and unexplainable and the things that have happened seem to happen to others who tell ghost stories.